


Reality is Just A Step Ahead of An Illusion

by hyucklaugh



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: A little angst, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, But happy ending no worries, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Idol!Hongseok, M/M, a result from my depression self, and my longing to meet jinhongseok again, i'm suck at summaries help, jinhongseok!au, sorry if it feels too rushed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyucklaugh/pseuds/hyucklaugh
Summary: Being a childhood friend of an idol sucks.Once people found out that you have an idol friend, in addition a popular one at that, they just wouldn’t stop bugging you to get either their sign, their phone number, free concert ticket, asked to be introduced to them, or even go as far as asking for their used cloth. It makes him questioning what’s inside these people’s head sometimes.But what even more sucks, he’s also in love with this “idol” friend of him.Yeah, life is officially sucks for Jo Jinho.





	Reality is Just A Step Ahead of An Illusion

**Author's Note:**

> Jinho and Hongseok belong to CUBE Entertainment. Or themselves since they're adult already so yeah.
> 
> Happy reading and hope you can enjoy the story!

Being a childhood friend of an idol sucks.

Once people found out that you have an idol friend, in addition a popular one at that, they just wouldn’t stop bugging you to get either their sign, their phone number, free concert ticket, asked to be introduced to them, or even go as far as asking for their used cloth. It makes him questioning what’s inside these people’s head sometimes.

But what even more sucks, he’s also in love with this “idol” friend of him. 

Yeah, life is officially sucks for Jo Jinho.

\---

“I mean, how many times do I have to tell them that we’re barely “childhood friend” anymore?! The last time I saw him is like, what, 4 years ago? Before the damned agency decided to scoop him up and take him away,” he rambled furiosly over the phone to Hyunggu, his second most favourite person in the world after Hongseok (but he will never admits it out loud mind you). 

His mood immediately took a drastic turn in just a mere second. No matter how many times it happens, reminder that he will probably never gonna see Hongseok again always succeed to put him into depressed state every single time. He really hates himself for that.

“Actually Ggu, nevermind that. I’m just gonna head home now. Talk to you later,” he said and ended the call even before Hyunggu can give any response. But his response usually would just consist of him trying to calm Jinho down or giving sassy remarks to those people, which helps a lot usually, but maybe not this time. He just wants to go home and curled up on his bed, crying and pitying himself for falling for someone he would never be able to reach. 

\---

Yang Hongseok. A phenomenon who made his debut a year ago and already has everyone wrapped around his finger.

A bless to music industry, if one might said.

Someone who has the looks, the voice, the brain, the attitude, the physical, and everything you could ask for to make a perfect idol.

But no matter who he is or who he had become, for Jinho, he will always be the kid that will follow him everywhere like a chick following his mother hen wherever she goes.

It feels like such a long time ago. When he still has the glasses that always perched on the top of his nose. When he’s still considered as someone with exceeded weight for someone his age. But in high school he suddenly grows so fast his height surpassed Jinho in no time, in line with his drastic loss of weight. And suddenly he’s not Hongseok the chubby boy in the neighborhood anymore, but a heartthrob with tall body, broad shoulder, sharp jaw, and a sweet smile that could rival the sun.  
Jinho still remembers vividly the day when Hongseok come to him all excited and shout “Hyung guess what?! I got scooted up by C Agency in my way back home from school! They inivted me for an audition next saturday oh my god can you believe this?!” while hugging and lifting Jinho off the ground. Jinho can feel his heart drops to his stomatch, but quickly schools his expression into one of excitement when Hongseok finally released him and put him back on the ground.

“Oh my god really? I’m so happy for you Seok! I’m sure you will do well in your audition, you will charm them with your voice,” he said while trying to be a supporting friend, even when he can feel a slight wetness in his eyes. 

“I know right!” He smiled so wide at first but then a thought seemed to occur to him and suddenly his expression deflated a little bit. “But hyung, what if I messed up or maybe it turns out I’m not good enough for them?” 

“Yah! Have confident in yourself would you? You’re the most amazing person with the sweetest voice I’ve ever know, so you must believe in yourself!” said Jinho while punching the other’s arm playfully. “Besides, once they heard you sing I believe they would fall for you immediately. That’s the power of Yang Hongseok,” he added softly at the end.

A smile started to crawl back to Hongseok’s face. He laughs while pretending to rub the part where Jinho punched him, “You’re just being biased hyung! You said that because I’m your most favourite person in the world. But thanks for the encouragement, I’ll try my best at the audition,” he said while smiling softly.

Jinho smiles back, but deep down inside, he couldn’t help but feels dread settled up at the pitch of his stomatch. Because if Hongseok passed the audition, there’s no way they could be the same anymore. 

\---

To no one surprise, Hongseok passed the audition and has moved to Seoul ever since to focus more on his training. 

At first Hongseok still try to make time to call him every so often.

But it was hard.

With packed training schedule and going to school in Seoul, the call started to get less and less, until it stopped coming altogether.

Jinho can see it coming, but it still didn’t lessen the hurt he feels inside.

Sure, he will always support Hongseok no matter what, but is it really too much to ask for them to remain the same even when things changed? Or is it the price he has to pay for falling in love with his best friend? 

\---

Years passed and now Jinho is in his last year in university. He passed the test to a music program in a university in Seoul, and has lived by himself in a rented apartement ever since. 

He didn’t tell Hongseok about this. 

Heck, he didn’t even know if Hongseok know about this. Maybe he will know from his mother who was told by Jinho’s mother? Or maybe he didn’t and already forgot about Jinho. 

Because really, who does he think he is? He’s just a childhood friend from the past.

A childhood friend who likes Hongseok before anybody else does.

A someone who falls for the nerdy boy who’s always smiling even when being mocked on about his appearance.

6 years, Jinho thinks, is not a short time to be in love.

\---

“I hate you,” he said to Hongseok’s poster that pasted on his bedroom wall.

It’s a lie, he knows, but it’s just his defensive mechanism to protect his heart from all the sad thouhts, so there he goes with his love-hate cycle that he usually vents out to Hongseok (poster).

Hongseok (poster) just looks back at him with his intense eyes and sweet smile.

He really hates himself for this.

\---

Jinho would not lie and pretending like he didn’t like Hongseok. He IS a Hongseok’s fan, and a dedicated one at that. He is among the first to know any news about him, watching and streaming his MV on Youtube, buying his albums, watching every single reality or variety shows which featured Hongseok, and fanboying over his good looks that was captured by fansites. Sometimes he will also randomly talk to Hongseok (poster) in his bedroom. 

Aside from being a hardcore fanboy, Jinho is also a coward.

He joined the fancafe, but is using a fake account in case Hongseok recognizes who he is.

He never dared to come to any of Hongseok’s fan meeting or fan sign. 

Hyunggu always encourages him to just go and meet Hongseok, that he would be happy to meet Jinho, since Jinho is his best friend. 

But he’s just so so scared to meet Hongseok in person after all these years. 

“What if he had forgotten about me?”

“What if the reason he stopped contacting me is because he feels there’s no need to be friend with me anymore, since I’m just… me. A nobody in this world. A boy who’s too small for this big world.” 

Because really, if Jinho is being honest with himself, he wouldn’t want to be with someone like him too.

Someone so full of negativities and insecurities who always lets the world swallow him whole. 

“Why would he wants to be with someone like me, when he can have anyone he wants?”

But what he most afraid of is actually the possibility that Hongseok will not recognize him among the many people who loves him. 

He already got all the love from his fans, so there’s no need for additional love from Jinho. 

And Hyunggu would just frown at him while scolded him gently, “Hyung, I have never met someone who is more wonderful than you are. You’re always see the goodness in people, never judge anyone, and have a very big heart for someone your size. Also, you know best that I’d not stick to someone which I found bad right?”

Which might be true, considering the fact that Hyunggu is a kind-hearted and sensitive boy who deserve all the best in this world. And he also has a tendency to attract only good people towards him. But maybe he’s just being too nice and keep on being with Jinho out of pity. 

Gosh he really hate it when his mind keeps on producing all these bad things. 

He believes in Hyunggu, he really is.

But the insecurities in his mind always screamed at him that he don’t deserves anyone in this world. That he was destined to be alone. 

That he and Hongseok are not meant to be. 

\---

He ended up curled up in his living room couch, watching reruns of Hongseok interview from an entertainment site. 

“So we heard that you will be partnered with Lee Yoo Jin for your upcoming drama?” while looking at a very pretty girl in the screen behind them. “I guess the two of you will make a perfect match,” The MC said while looking at Hongseok teasingly.

Hongseok just laughed at that. “Yes she is a very nice person even though we only met for the first time during script screening,” 

From there onwards Jinho couldn’t make sense of any of the words they exchanged. 

His head suddenly feels too full and too empty at the same time. 

He knows that something like this would happen sooner or later, but it still didn’t make the pain any easier to deal with. 

Tears just rolling down his cheeks like a broken dam, not giving him any chance to stop it at all. He just let the sob wrecked up his entire body.

‘Gosh why did love hurts so much,’ he chanted in his mind for a million times like a broken record.

In the middle of his breakdown he faintly heard the sound of someone ringing his doorbell. He tried to ignore it and thinking that it might be just his imagination. But the sound keeps on coming and when he tried to clear his head, the sound did come from the direction of his front door. 

He glanced at the clock on the wall. It reads 10.16 pm. ‘I wonder who that might be? Who would come at this hour? Probably just Hyunggu,’

At first he didn’t want to open the door, since he’s sure he’d look like a mess after crying like that. He cringed at the thought. But the sound keeps on coming so he decided to just let Hyunggu in and do whatever he wants while Jinho continues moping in his room.

‘To hell with my appearance, it’s just Hyunggu anyway,’ he thought while stumbling to the front door. Maybe he’s being too careless, he didn’t even try to check who’s coming from the peephole. He rubs his left eye while opening the front door, “What do you want Ggu? I’m okay you don’t need to worry about me,”

But turns out it’s not Hyunggu who’s standing at the other side of the door. 

It’s Yang fucking Hongseok. 

‘Or maybe it’s just my imagination,’ with that thought Jinho proceeded to close the door again but a feet stopped his door from being closed.

‘Wow what a nice shoes,’ his stupid brain supplied helpfully. Very slowly he raise his head to meet with a pair of blue washed jeans, a pair of slim waist and broad shoulder covered with black hoodie, and finally to a face that belongs to no other than Yang Hongseok, with a black cap on of his head, the one he just watched in TV a few minutes before. 

“But I just saw you in TV,” he said.

Because really, what else can he says in a situation like this?

“So maybe I really am dreaming, or you’re just another one of my unrealistic imagination. But sorry to say, you’re not needed at the moment so bye,” he continued while trying (once again) to close the door. But to his dismay the feet is still stubbornly planted on the same spot, again preventing him from closing the door. 

“You have imagination about me?” God why does (imaginary) Hongseok has such a nice voice like this it makes Jinho’s legs goes woobly. His voice sounds soothing and very deep, but has a little rasp in it. It sounds the same but at the same time different from Hongseok’s voice in high school.  
“Wait, why does your voice sounds different from my usual imagination?” while looking at (imaginary) Hongseok again, who just stared back at him with a confused expression. ‘And usually he would be smiling and all, so why does he looked confused like this?’ 

And then if finally dawned on him.

“YOU’RE REAL?!” Jinho is practically screaming at the figure in front of him, but not like he cares anyway. He tried once again to close the door because he sure will be damned to meet Hongseok now in his current state, but Hongseok beats him to it and in no time he successfully slipped inside Jinho’s apartment.

Jinho just stand there and stare dumbly at him, with mouth hanging open. He’s sure he looks really stupid right now but it’s not like he cares anyway because you see YANG HONGSEOK IS STANDING IN HIS FRONT PORCH NOW. Jinho’s not sure whether to faint or getting hysterical over this fact.

“Whatever. You’re just my imagination. Do whatever you want, I don’t care,” he said while stumbling backward, intent on just go to sleep and ignores the (imaginary) person who rudely barged into his apartment. 

But a hand caught his wrist.

“Jinho-hyung, you’re not imagining things. It’s really me, Hongseok. Did you already forgot about me?” the person asked with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Jinho’s heart clench tightly in his chest at that. 

He practically thinks about him 25/8 so how can he forgets about him? 

But he would be damned if he says that out loud.

He snapped from his thoughts when he heard a chuckle from Hongseok who’s trying to stifle his laugh with the back of his hand. ”You do realize that you’re thinking out loud, right hyung?”

And Jinho just stared blankly at him. His mind is full of so many thoughts that running wild inside his head but one thought is standing out more than the others. ‘His laugh sounds so beautiful.’

It’s the sound he missed the most.

Jinho started sobbing again after the thought hits him, which caught Hongseok’s off guard. He hurriedly take Jinho into his embrace and hugs him tightly. He just stand there, hugging Jinho in silent while rubbing his back soothingly in one hand and patting his head gently with the other. It just makes Jinho cries harder into his shoulder.

After some time, Jinho started to calm down, but Hongseok’s seems reluctant to let go, so they just stand there in silence for a few minutes. When he’s sure he won’t faint Jinho started to step out from Hongseok’s embrace. God he already missed his warmth. 

Hongseok lets him go, but keep his hands on Jinho’s wrists so they’re practically still in each other personal space. Jinho just keeps his eyes fixed on their hands and refused to look at Hongseok.

When there’s no sign that Jinho will look at him soon, Hongseok just sighs and lift Jinho’s chin softly. There’s still remnants of tears on both of his cheecks, and it really pained Hongseok to see those beautiful eyes wet with tears. It feels as if someone is squeezing his heart really hard. He start to wipe the tears that falls with his thumb softly, but that gesture seemed to bring out another fresh set of tears from Jinho’s eyes. “Shh hyung it’s okay, I’m here,” he whispered softly.

Jinho bites his trembling lip hard to prevent his tears from falling, and Hongseok is almost sure that Jinho would be the death of him. He looks so small and fragile that Hongseok just wants to embrace him forever and never let go and protects him from all the bad things in the world. 

How he wished he can turn back time and never leave Jinho.

But before he could say anything Jinho beats him to it.

“Why are you here?” 

His voice sounds cold, distant, and so foreign to his ears. Jinho has his guard up and he perfectly understands that, but it still didn’t ease the pain that the sound bring along to his heart. 

“To meet you,” he answers simply. 

“But why? Why now? And for what? We haven’t talk in ages Hongseok,” 

Hongseok heart constrict painfully in his chest. The name sounds foreign to his ear. He wants to hear Jinho call him Seok like before, when everything is still okay and when it’s as if the world belongs to them only.

“Because I missed you so so much hyung I don’t think I can continue being without you for much longer,” he said earnestly while tightening his grip on Jinho’s wrists.

“But you’re okay without me all these years Hongseok, you don’t need me, so why?” he said while looking straight at his eyes, with eyes that reflect his belief that Hongseok didn’t need him at all, resulted from many nights of telling himself the exact same thing over and over again. 

“Hyung, please listen to me first,” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was... scared of meeting you before my debut. I know it would sound just like an excuse, but it’s not as easy as I initially thought. Everything is so unsure in this kind of world. I didn’t even know whether I can debut or not. And I’m really scared to meet you, because I don’t want to dissapoint you. So I made a vow to myself that I will try my utmost hard to debut and will hold myself back from meeting you before I made sure that I can be someone who are worthy for you. Heck, it was so hard for me, holding myself back from running straight to your apartment when I heard the news of you moving to Seoul. But I was too ashamed of myself. I’m still no one with uncertain future at that time,” he smiled bitterly at this. 

“But then even after debut, my agency just wouldn’t let me out to see you. They keep finding excuses to stop me from meeting you. And they had me promised that after one year, I will be allowed to do whatever I want. So here I am,” he said while rubbing the back of his head, a gesture so familiar to Jinho, so familiar as if to reminds him that the man in front of him is still the same Hongseok he knows, his best friend whom he loves for more than 6 years.

“But that’s not the only reason why I’m here. I also made a vow to myself that I will not confess until I become a suitable man for you,” he added with a soft smile and eyes so full of love it took Jinho’s breath away.

“What do you mean?”

“I like you hyung. I like you a lot. I like you since our first meeting. I’ve liked you since then and the feeling just keeps on growing everyday. I like you yesterday, today, and I’m sure I will like you even more tomorrow.”

Maybe Jinho is still dreaming. Because there’s just no way Hongseok said all those things right?

But the trembling hands that feels hot on his wrists and the worried smile on Hongseok’s face looked too real to be a dream.

If it’s not a dream, then does that means Jinho is allowed to have his happy ending now? 

Before his brain can proceed any further thoughts Hongseok added in a determined voice, “I’m really really sorry for making you wait this long, but even if you didn’t harbour the same feeling for me, please know that I will not give up just because you reject me tonight. I’ve waited for so long already, so there’s no way I will back out easily. Please prepare yourself for ---,” before he can finish his sentence he was stopped by a small hand that grabbed his collar and pulled him down. He was met with a pair of eyes so bright he can feels himself burned from inside. 

And then he feels pain on his chest.

Jinho is hitting him repeatedly.

Damn, this guy might be small, but his punches sure hurt as hell.

“You stupid! Don’t said those things. You deserve someone better. You should be with someone who’s a match for you. I’m not good enough for you Seok,” Jinho added weakly while gripping his hoodie tightly, as if afraid if he lets go Hongseok might just disappear from his sight immediately.

Hongseok’s eyes harden at this.

“No hyung, please listen! I don’t need someone better, and I don’t want someone better. You’re all I need. I only want you hyung, please believe in me,” he said while cupping Jinho’s face in his hands. 

He wants to believe him, he really do.

But will they be okay after this?

“Please hyung,” Hongseok added with so much sadness in his voice.

And Jinho really hates seeing him sad like that.

If Hongseok said he is the one who can make him happy, then what else is he waiting for? This is what he’s dreamed for right?

Does this means it will become the start of his happy ending?

“Okay...” he finally said.

And in that exact moment he knows he had made the right decision. If the smile that instantly blooms in Hongseok’s face is not enough proof for that, he doesn’t know what other proof he’d need.

Hongseok immediately pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and lifted him off the ground. He lifts him up and spin him around while laughing happily and kissing his face continously. On his forehead, on his cheeks, on his nose, on his lips. Every part of his face he can reach. 

With a satisfied grin on his face he put Jinho back on the ground. Talking about deja vu. But this time he didn’t let him go. He keeps Jinho in his embrace and circling his arms around Jinho’s waist.

“So does this means you’ll be my boyfriend?” he asked with the widest smile Jinho has ever seen on his face. 

“Boyfriend to an idol? That sounds hella troublesome, but if you insist I might consider the offer,” Jinho answered playfully. 

Hongseok just looked at him and then kissed him on the lips. He kissed him hard until Jinho feels lightheaded and out of breath.

“You stole my first kiss, and my heart too, so here’s the deal. You can’t back up now. You have to take responsibility,” he declared confidently.

Jinho couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.

“But I also gave you my first kiss and my heart, so we’re even in this. You have to take responsibility too.” 

He just grins at that. 

“It’s a deal then.”

\---

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Soo it's been quite a long time since I wrote anything, and this is also my first Jinhongseok work so I'm sorry if the storyline feels rushed and not meeting your expectations. Critics and suggestions are welcomed!
> 
> And I apologize for any grammar mistakes since english is not my first language.
> 
> Also, does anyone here come to watch Prism? Because I did and it just makes me miss them even more :( All of them is soo perfect and I love them so much it hurts.


End file.
